Unfortunately, I find myself writing this last blog. Remember in my previous blog when I said that I thought there was a reason why I chose that video for my post? Well, I know what the reason is. My father-in-law, who I called Robert in this blog, passed away last Tuesday, October 20, 2009. He had been fighting renal cell carcinoma for nine years. This really came as a shock to us all.
On Sunday, two days before he passed, my step-mother-in-law, Cathy, called Cole to have him meet her at the hospital because Robert was acting funny. He was kind of delusional, which is something we were all used to as it was a sign of his urinary tract infections. Cole quickly headed to the hospital, not thinking anything of it. He even came home a few hours and confirmed that it was another UTI, but that his dad was talking strange. Robert hadn’t walked in almost three years and he told Cole he was going to walk out of the hospital and go to work. We all continued our day as usual.
Then, Cathy called Cole at 6:30 on Monday morning, just as he was getting ready for work. Robert had severe bleeding in his brain and they were going to send him to a hospital in Trenton. This was not something we were ready or expecting to hear.
Cole, Cathy, and Claire (Cole’s sister) went to the hospital in Trenton. Basically, the cancer that was on Robert’s forehead that we were told was not growing or pushing into the brain had eaten through his skull and caused the bleeding on his brain. The bleeding was so severe they decided that surgery was not an option. The only hope they had was if his brain would clot on its own. We all had to sit back and “accept” that this was the end.
Cathy had decided that she would keep him on the machines until Robert’s parents came in from Pittsburgh and then they would all say their goodbyes. Robert held on through Monday night and on Tuesday morning, our son, Adam, decided to send his elephant up for his “pap-pap.” He gave it a good squeeze before giving it to Cole. When Cole and his family made it to the hospital, they set the elephant in the bed with Robert and that afternoon he passed.
This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my life and I can’t even imagine what my husband and his family are going through. Our son is only three and we chose not to bring him to the viewing or funeral, but we did tell him where his pap-pap was.
We said that pap-pap was in a place called Heaven and God was taking care of him. We won’t be able to see him anymore, but whenever we want to talk to him we just have to look up at the sky and he’ll be there. Our son is very sad and has said he misses his pap-pap. It’s going to take time for this to really sink in.
Robert’s birthday is this Saturday, October 31, 2009. He would have been 54 years old. Here is his obituary. I chose not to change my families’ names this time. This was taken from the McGuinness Funeral Home website. http://mcgfuneral.com/.
“Richard S. Green of Glassboro, NJ., on October 20, 2009. Aged 53 years.
For over 30 years, Rich was a Manager for Kmart in various locations in PA and NJ. Rich enjoyed collecting sports cards, golfing and spending time with his family. Bird watching in Cape May was another relaxing past time for Rich. Aiden, his grandson, was the apple of Rich’s eye and he loved spending time with him every chance he had. Rich will be sadly missed by all.
Beloved husband of Cynthia (nee Szulewski )
Devoted father of Jason Bender, Christopher (Kirsten) Green, Caitlin Green. Loving son of Lois (nee Williams) and Chuck Allison and the late Carl Albert Green. Dear brother of Karen Finnegan, Dan Green and Kevin (Karen) Green. Adoring grandfather of Aiden, also survived by many loving aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and friends.
Donations may be made in memory of Rich to the National Kidney Foundation, 30 East 33rd St., New York, NY 10016 or www.kidney.org.”
***Just a side note- my husband brought up a few odd points while we were watching the video about Bob, the cancer survivor. Cole told me that his dad was diagnosed with stage IV renal cell carcinoma at age 45 during a routine check-up. He was a year younger than Bob was when he was diagnosed at 46. We also thought it was strange that I chose to call my father-in-law Robert, even though his real name is Rich, and then I chose this You Tube video almost three weeks later about a renal cell cancer survivor named Bob. I really did not even think about the coincidence when I was looking through the videos.
Even if they never read my blog, I would like to thank Bob and his family for creating the video. It was comforting to see that someone who was suffering from the same cancer as my father-in-law is doing well and has such a positive view on life. I hope that Bob gets to enjoy many more years of health and happiness with his family.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blogs!